This is an excellent little book on a huge topic. Kevin DeYoung does a great job of writing this book to be, “short, biblical, and practical.” I like it so much that I would give it to anyone who is starting to study manhood and womanhood as the go-to guide coming from a complimentarian perspective. I found myself pretty much agreeing with everything DeYoung says on this topic as he guides us through Scripture. The topic collides with some of the most volatile issues of our day but DeYoung writes in a sensitive manner while also being direct and unapologetic in his commitment to biblical truth. Here are some of my favorite quotes and ideas from the book.

DeYoung provides summaries of the responsibilities in marriage for husbands and wives. The responsibilities for wives in marriage, in submitting to their husbands, are called to support, respect, and follow them as to the Lord. And the responsibilities for husbands in marriage, in loving their wives, are called to lead, sacrifice, and care for them as Christ does for the Church.

“God’s design for the home is a thoughtful, intelligent, gentle, submissive wife and a loving, godly, self-sacrificing, leading husband.” (64)

To reverse the curse of the Fall, DeYoung says, “Christian wives submit rather than usurp and Christian husbands love rather than domineer.” (64)

“God created marriage to reveal this profound mystery of Christ and the church. This is a high calling. His plan is for a watching world to look at husband and wife and see such gentle, joyful submission and such self-denying, loving leadership that it gets a picture of the beauty that is the relationship between Christ and his church. Nothing less than God’s full glory is at stake.” (74)

I also like the practical nature of chapter 9, “Growing up as Boys and Girls.” It is an acronym DeYoung uses to describe to his children the divinely designed differences between the sexes. There are five categories of differences. What DeYoung calls the ABC’s of divine design.

• Appearance. God made men and women to have their appearance different, according to what is the natural order of things. Men should work on appearing as a man and women should work on appearing as a woman.
• Body. The bodies of men and women contain a sense of ought-ness in actions that should correspond to divinely designed sexual identity.
• Character. The crowning character of men is strength and the crowning character of women is beauty – these are their top character qualities that mark their distinctness.
• Demeanor. Certain demeanors fall along gender lines – fathering is generally marked by a hortatory demeanor (exhortation, discipline, and charge) and mothering is marked by gentleness (nurture and affection).
• Eager Posture. The eager posture or moving inclination of men is to lead and for women is to help.

Here’s the table of contents,

Introduction: What If? How Come? Where Are We Going?

Part 1: Biblical Exploration

Chapter 1: A Very Good Place to Start (Genesis 1–3)
Chapter 2: Patterns that Preach (Old Testament Survey)
Chapter 3: Revolution and Repetition (Jesus and the Gospels)
Chapter 4: Of Heads and Hair (1 Corinthians 11:2–6; 14:33–35)
Chapter 5: A Marriage Made in Heaven (Ephesians 5:22–33)
Chapter 6: The Heart of the Matter (1 Timothy 2:8–15)
Chapter 7: Leaders, Servants, and Life Together (1 Timothy 3:1–13)

Part 2: Questions and Application

Chapter 8: Common Objections
Chapter 9: Growing Up as Boys and Girls
Chapter 10: Following Christ as Men and Women

Appendix: Should Complementarian Churches Allow a Woman to Give the Sunday Sermon?

I received a copy of this book from Crossway in exchange for an honest review.